The Sordid Seven
(The Worst Movies of 2002)
When it comes to bad movies, 2002 will be remembered as the Year of the Rehash. All seven of the creativity-deprived films on this list are either adaptations, remakes of older films, or sequels.
We also came very close to including another Eddie Murphy film (The Adventures of Pluto Nash) and another Adam Sandler film (the animated Eight Crazy Nights), but that would have meant ditching the rehash theme. Besides, Murphy and Sandler deserve their own separate worst-of lists.
We’d love to say it doesn’t get much worse than this, but next year would only prove us wrong.
I-Spy – Eddie Murphy was funny when he played an ass in Shrek. But as a champion boxer-turned-partner to Owen Wilson in this asinine adaptation of the old Bill Cosby/Robert Culp TV series, Murphy and his nonstop braying become intolerable. If you spy anything else in the video store, rent that instead.
Jackass: The Movie – Apart from masochism, there’s a reason Johnny Knoxville and his cohorts take it to the next level in this compendium of videotaped stupid stunts. They’re stupid.
Men in Black II – Will Smith and an ancient-looking Tommy Lee Jones are even less interested than the audience in this slack offering of spliced-together leftovers from the first MiB. We wish someone in black would come along with a memory-blanking pen and make us forget this film.
Mr. Deeds – Adam Sandler plays a hoodie-clad man-child who wins over a beautiful woman with moronic charm. We’ve seen this before from Sandler, but any resemblance between this claptrap and the Jimmy Stewart original is strictly nonexistent.
Resident Evil – You know you’re in trouble when the movie has less atmosphere and worse graphics than the videogame it’s based on. And unlike the videogame, you can’t shut off the movie when you get tired of it.
Rollerball – John McTiernan’s remake of the 1975 Norman Jewison cult classic is like TV’s American Gladiators with camera work by a three-year-old on rollerblades. Except not as good.
Swept Away – Madonna and Adriano Giannini are swept away by a sea of crap in Guy Ritchie’s waterlogged remake of Lina Wertmüller’s 1974 commentary on sex and class warfare. Notice the theme of lousy rehashes yet?